Why Home Feels Too Far

A child’s unsent letter.

Why does home feel so far… at night?
The moon and stars,
they look… dark… yet bright.

Who knows what’s left… for me to take?
My feet are cold,
and the night… won’t break.

Why can’t I call you, Mom… and cry?
I hum alone…
no lullaby,
just tears that fall…
and I don’t know why.

Waves carry… all my sky away,
don’t leave me here…
don’t let me stray.

Why is this wall… so firm… so strong?
These feathers float,
but don’t belong.

Hold my heart,
let me stay…
pull me closer…
I need your light, your gentle ray.

Don’t let me become
my own dark shade,
I want to be yours…
no longer afraid.

To fit your side,
through thick… and thin…
let your light
find where I’ve been.

Why did you make me… without fire?
The earth still turns,
it won’t retire.

Cold in my bones…
I’m tired… I’m gray.
remember me…
once…
before I fade.

Oh!
I bid you farewell… I guess.
Or…
was I just left behind…
in this mess?

You kept… or threw… my old attire,
the curving moon,
hides in the mire.

Endless clouds…
they make it clear,
nothing holds…
nothing stays… near.

Wordless.
Alone.
I keep my stare
in a world so sharp…
I need your care.

You never ask
what I have left…
as I unravel,
sorrow-pressed.

Is it the cool…
pure autumn breath?
Autumn is gone…
I face… what’s left.

Being busy… knots the thread,
pull it once…
and all goes dead.

If I call…
when light feels thin…
will you still…
let me in?

Author’s Note

Why Home Feels Too Far, is for the ones who have felt the weight of walls that should’ve held them, for the child who still reaches toward a voice that didn’t stay,
and for the ache of loving a home, a mom that never learned to love back.
And if it finds you in your own far night,
know that you are not the one who’s left.
You are the one who kept looking.